Friday, June 11, 2004

The Devil 

I've never given much credence to purported sightings of ghosts, UFO's, Bigfoots (Bigfeet?), and such things. However, when several relatively sane people (including and my own sister) reported that, while travelling along a certain road late at night, they had seen The Devil himself standing beside the road, I had to wonder what was going on.

Playing in a band made it necessary for me to travel that same road almost every weekend, and I had never seen anything out of the ordinary. I suppose that was because I generally played until two or three in the morning, so it was in the wee hours whenever I was returning home. And I should have known, from watching horror movies, that if one is to have an encounter with something terrifying, such as The Devil or a vampire or Michael Jackson, one must be in the proper place at the appropriate time: midnight.

That's why I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised the night I saw The Devil. It was one of the rare weekends when I wasn't playing music, and, instead of coming home, I was on the way to hear another band. They were playing at an all-night club which booked one band from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m, and a second band from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. I was going to hear the second band, and it was almost midnight.

I was thinking about the hottie who sang backup and played keyboards in the band that I was going to listen to, so I almost wrecked when I saw The Devil standing beside the road. At first, I only saw a shape, which I figured was someone hitchhiking, either due to stupidity or their car breaking down. But as I got closer, I put my headlights on bright, and then wished I hadn't!

I was looking at two large, luminous yellow eyes with black pupils! These eyes were in a big greyish-white face surrounded by a lot of black hair; underneath was a long, straggly grey beard; and above the face was a pair of large, curved horns!!! (I didn't check for the bifurcated tail and the pitchfork; I just stomped the accelerator, whipped into the other lane, and left that sucker to wait for the next ride!)


Good thing I was going to the club. If I'd been on the way back home, that damn thing would have sobered me up!

I found out a short time later that a friend of mine, who lived near where The Devil was usually spotted, had a large black and grey billy goat, and that said goat delighted in occasionally jumping the fence in the middle of the night and standing beside the highway in order to terrorize passers-by. This particular billy goat was somewhat larger than your average goat, and while goats in general are not all that intimidating when you can see them in the daylight, this critter was something to behold even then! For anyone not familiar with goats, this picture will give you an idea of what I saw, only the one I saw was bigger, mostly black, and I saw him at night with his eyes lit up by my headlights.

All things considered, the goat's propensity for jumping the fence may have been a good thing; I suspect that the membership rolls of several area churches swelled during this time, and it is likely that more than one potential alchoholic swore off drinking altogether after seeing him.